The Incarnation of the Soul: Fresh out of the poisonous womb was tense. I am a jolt of charged energy, fully embracing the turbulent ride that will soon prevail throughout my lifetime thus far. I wanted to rebel against standards placed on me as a youth -- as a provocative and curious youth. I also felt self-pity because in my own self delusions, I urged the mishandling of emotions that existed but were never expressed, as they twisted and skewered over time. I didn't want to express them. This emotional turmoil was brought on by more obstinate forces, and issues laced with abandonment and the inner-cities' own turmoil amid the crack epidemic of the late 80's and early 90's.
Assessing the size and scope of the bigger picture like a map wasn't so easy like it appeared to be for my more open pupils. But appearances can deceive and the earth was once thought to be flat. As kids we masqueraded and galloped about in our fantasies, however, the decadence of the city would still be felt among my peer group, as emotions ran at a fever pitch. Some kids were mentally unstable and provocative themselves. I equated any of my negative experiences to something I brought upon myself; scrutinizing relations I had in such minute detail, they could be clip art of life, as my hatred swelled. Although the kids poked fun at me for being shy and uninvolved, I flashed a smile and got by on my charms and humor; knowing we all had something to learn from one other. I made some invaluable friends back then and along my journey. Friendship would symbolize more to me than I could put into words back then.
My inner consciousness and dreams continue to sewer, and the obscurity of the living realm tugged at the musical chords of my very being. Everyone started to become faceless. My own dreams then took a back seat. I was still passively susceptible to confined and rigged structures that trap me like a lab experiment. I'm being entrapped in even more structures to attain some perceived notion of autonomy. With our perceived knowledge, a lot of expenses were accumulated to learn, so how much do we really know and how many assets do we have left to cover these expenses? In the end there is a transformation of the spirit when we let go -- liberation. The very fabric of time seems to liberate our minds as we continue upon our life's greatest work.
The Lost Soul: I hit the ground running as a preteen, and as the two towers fell. In its destruction lay the bodies of the soon to be avenged. My resolve to be like you and less original led me astray and there was no justification, like the lack of justification of such an act of violence. And its consequent War on Terrorism. My new obsession with materialism led to distractions and distortions. In these clothes I still couldn't express who I was. I had altercations with authority figures, friends, and acquaintances; prominent in schools and in my very own home. My appetite for destruction combined with destructive forces would soon be my own undoing and lead me to an epiphany period.
In school, I took a more liberal approach to relations -- everyone was a potential connection, as well as gossip. I couldn't see my path clearly, I couldn't even stick to one aspiration as I fluttered like a bee from hive to hive, but from dream to dream. These demons still lurk in my cabin -- I want to break the fever -- I failed because conformed to what everyone else's patterns were. Inside I yearned to be unique in some way. Not different just to be different, but to make the most significant contributions and breakthroughs in a society that I felt threw me under the bus. I forged ahead embracing new and progressively unique friendships looking for the pieces.
I skipped classes, I cut school, and had my pick of the prom queens -- yet desiring greater accomplishments. My work with computers seemed almost natural, and intuitive. So I invested my college education in computers, but wavered back and fourth on the mechanical mundane of structured schooling. Writing. Yes, writing.
Soul Searching: Veni Vidi Vici! The New decade marked significant strides on my journey and my tread into transcendental territory, now following my own moral compass. I was the conqueror of fears and limitations. Leading me into esoteric wisdom. The chains and restraints are free, as I propel myself to new heights of hierarchical reign. So I can demolish them and utilize the instrument of my faith. My spirituality awakened, my faith not rattled by the piercing eyes. The revolution revolved around my own undertakings. It's high time we move along the coast together, so we coast later down the line. Writing will free me of all my inhibitions, and my inadequacies are put on display for all to bear witness to.
Do we fear the incoming change and reform? The rebirth that is needed to truly awaken. Old technology of our heyday often reminds us of the stagnation that took place, but of the simplicity inherit. The new technology of today's age forces us into new molds, new groups, new medicine treads on religion and religious wars are the detriment of nations in turmoil. New species of animals are skinned for profit, as they supersede old species. I'll burn this town down before I'm forced to conform anymore, for the soul has been revolutionized.